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Today when I was drinking the juice of my cauliflower dish, it tasted like the sea water I would occasionally swallow when I was in Antalya— more than 20 years ago now. How can a certain taste or smell bring back memories that far? How did I code it in my brain to associate with a place and time? My mind drifts and wanders back into my childhood often. My best friend in middle school and high school was Gizem . We sticked together for the toughest part of our growing up journey. I remember Gizem to “not climb on the sidewalk”, because it will be a wasted “potential energy” once we need to go down at the end. We would watch “ Dawson’s Creek ” together and discuss/argue like crazy. She studied Material Sciences in college, then did PhD like me, to steer into Data Science later on— like many. Our two other best friends were Ezgi and Ilgin . Ezgi also studied Molecular Biology like me. She stayed in Europe. Ilgin became a teacher like her dad and a caregiver to her dad once her mom passed away. I can see how each of my friends grew up to be very strong women. Life threw us in different directions in college, but somehow I feel our souls are still connected. Back then, one day we went to watch Duman live in Antalya Cam Piramit (Glass Pyramid). There was the satisfaction from good music, friendships and limited freedom. Amazingly all those memories are so vivid, not lost, not forgotten, still there.  I typed these yesterday, as if telepathically, my sister went to Cam Piramit today. She mentioned that there was a fair/festival for selling muslim clothing. I know that sounds very different from the rock concert above. Tell me about radical changes in politics, these days. Today, I found myself experiencing sadness, which reminded me of a poem I wrote before: (here is a translation) When I am sad My heart becomes a pile of Broken glass bleeds, if you touch it bleeds, if you do not Why is a heart so sensitive? Love is “ muhabbet ” in Arabic and (in the sufism corner of my blog) is described as clinging attachments one’s heart makes onto mortal things. The attachments will need to stretch thin if two beings are separated. The clinging hurts a lot if surgically cut off or removed. Well, that hurts a lot. What could be a remedy? The solution is described as rerouting your clings. You would attach all of them to a central hub which is stable/eternal and then route to other beings. Imagine a cling being cut off, since the heart is still connected to the hub, it hurts less. That is one way I can strengthen my emotional intelligence to regulate my sadness.🌷I cannot promise that it always works, but it is an option. See if you can rewire your clinging heart to reduce sadness. Maybe reach out to your friends as well. Do you like rock music? What is a favorite song of yours? :)

Aren’t you amazed to see the aquarium shows of dolphins, whales and other animals? Apparently animal brains could be trained with a motivation of reward system. What happens in the brain as the information from being rewarded settles in? What is the glue that keeps this in the brain for long term memory? Taming other animals has been a significant part of human life. Back in 13,000 BC wolves and humans had symbiotic relationships that evolved into having breeds of dogs utilized in farming, industry and eventually family life. Now dogs are family members in the house hold and contribute significantly to mental and physical health. Yesterday, I saw a dog wearing a rain coat, walking along with its owner on the sidewalk.  In Arabic, “Rab” is one name for God which means “trainer, teacher, tamer”. I remembered about the famous “ Tortoise Trainer ” painting by Osman Hamdi from 1906. Painting: Tortoise Trainer by Osman Hamdi Bey (from Wikipedia) How could one possibly train tortoises? By definition, the term "tamer" refers to a person who trains or domesticates wild animals. I can consider myself a wild animal as well. My uncontrollable wills, wanting more and more with no foreseeable end. In this case, we can question: "how can I tame my own soul"? Should I use rewards or punishment? Which one is more efficient? I found myself imagining words: mind shaper, negotiator, persuader , conflict resolver.  One way, “nefs (oneself)” persuasion is dealt with in sufism is by punishment; which can take multiple shapes, but the most effective one is “ hunger ”. Hunger calms the wild soul down. As in the opposite case — one who eats whatever they want is a “spoiled soul”. In the case of religious fasting, there is a holy clock — let’s say— from sun rise to sun set, you are not allowed to eat. Outside this fasting, I cannot persuade myself to follow this schedule though. The regular clock does not feel persuasive enough. I need to be persuaded by a bigger source of power. We were easily persuaded at school. The teacher warned us with by giving a “minus”. When I was in middle school, seeing the mini grading book on the table was enough for everyone to start behaving. Now, I can punish my 4 year old son, for turning the food plate upside down, by giving him a “time-out” for reflection time. In Turkish there is a saying: “ A tree can only be bent, when it is still young .” What would happen when he becomes a teenager? Instead of forceful power, I would need the power of “persuasion” to win. Persuasion exists in my work life, too. I choose to spotlight the benefits of following a rule, rather than "here is the rule, obey it". I consider myself in the shoes of others to see what could persuade them. Similarly, the secret to funded grants is the essence of persuasive writing. This is actually a two-way street — now that I notice. The scientists try to persuade money givers, but money givers ultimately have the bigger power to influence how they want grants to be written. They said DEI is out, and now DEI is out.  On a more constructive note, what are some implications of Valentine’s day on you? I thought of my relationship with my husband. We could improve it by prioritizing each other , paying attention, connecting, trusting and sharing more. Not necessarily today but in increments every day. I could use this day to remember why I am making certain sacrifices in my diet. Persuade my brain that this would be good for me at the end. Maybe even motivate myself by saying I am doing this because I love myself, I want my future self to be healthy and happy .  Either a seemingly untroubled tortoise or a mom with duties and goals. We can train our animal brains to the point we even make “glue proteins”. It is time to show ourselves that we can actually do this!