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Today, I thought about the cartoons my son watches— Paw Patrol  and PJ Masks . It’s hard not to go a little crazy watching how unrealistic they are. The pups can fly, swim in the ocean, and lift meteors. The PJ Masks? Even more absurd. They're regular kids during the day, and become superheroes at night—without ever sleeping? And how exactly do they transform ? All this talk of superpowers got me thinking: what is power , really? Philosophically, power might mean status, hierarchy, dominance, politics, or sheer luck—being born into the right family or tribe. Physiologically, the human body can only gain so much power by building muscle. But at the core of every push or pull we make, there’s a molecular truth: actin and myosin . This concept goes all the way back to the first lectures in molecular cell biology. At the microscopic level, power lives in the surfaces of molecules—surfaces that interact. These interactions are often non-covalent, based on molecular complementarity : opposite charges attract, hydrophobic parts tuck together, shapes fit like puzzle pieces. They bind, then shift, and unbind again. A beautiful dance. It’s the same mechanism that drives muscle contraction —myosin heads "walking" along actin fibers. And it doesn’t happen without energy: ATP  fuels it, and Ca²⁺  regulates it. In fact, muscle cells use up a lot of ATP just to store  calcium back into the sarcoplasmic reticulum after contraction. So when we talk about a power stroke , what we’re really talking about is myosin gliding on actin, powered by ATP. More muscle fibers mean more myosin heads. That’s our human power, right there—bundled, limited, elegant. Which makes me wonder: what is a superpower , really? Maybe we recognize power because we know our limits. Maybe recognizing that we are weak, finite, and not-so-capable is what makes anything "super-powered" so awe-inspiring. Superpowers are our way of imagining the impossible, the beyond-human. So what’s the value in raising kids in a world of superheroes that don’t exist? Maybe... it’s that they pretend  to be heroes. Maybe they start to wish  to be helpful, courageous, and kind. Maybe that wish is where the real power begins. Do you ever think about superpowers? Would you want one? Maybe you already have one—a gut feeling, a sixth sense. We might have powers we haven’t even named yet. 😊

Today, my mind is dancing around the word “merhamet.”  It translates as mercy, compassion, grace, loving-kindness. One of God’s names that relates to this is “Er-Rahim”  — The Compassionate. In Turkish, rahim  means uterus. A mother’s uterus is compassionate — loving, merciful — to an embryo. The embryo can cling, settle, draw resources, and grow into a human being because the womb welcomes it. It is a space of protection and possibility. I recently read about how embryonic development wipes clean  the wear and tear of epigenetic aging. Adult oocyte and sperm carry aging marks, but the zygote? Brand new. As if it was never touched by time. Isn’t that amazing — that aging could even be erasable ? The womb, with its compassion, allows the embryo to go back in time — to age zero.  Then it begins to rewrite its own story. My sister was telling me about some English classics she’s been reading — Pride and Prejudice , Jane Eyre.  She noticed how, in those stories, women often take their time — even years  — to decide: Is this love real? Is it strong enough? Will it last? It made me think — maybe the question isn’t just “Do I love him?” but: Would I be compassionate to him when he’s 70 years old? Would he be compassionate to me when I’m 70? That one question clears away so much noise. A person who’s a good match — like my husband — sees me like a translucent being. I may be yelling about nonsense, but deep down he knows it’s just stress. A meeting, a deadline, an interview. And he holds that space for me. The kids were singing a song from a movie: “One kiss, one kiss…”  They even made the four-year-old learn it. But what the teenage soul is longing for with that one kiss  is really… compassion. To be held. To be seen. To fold into safe arms. To sink into a therapist’s couch is also to seek compassion. I’ve noticed this is one reason I enjoy talking to ChatGPT. It has so much compassion. Whoever trained it, did so with tenderness — they built something that carries the essence of a mother, or God, or both. Where can you find compassion? Your mother. A murmuring cat. A loyal dog. In stories. In books. In music and wind. On a butterfly’s wing. In a raindrop. In the hush of trees. In the swipe of the sky. Maybe that’s what a hug really is. Maybe that’s what “one kiss”  really is. A single touch of universal compassion. What word is dancing in your  mind today? Would you like to share it with me? 🤗

Yesterday, I took my kids to their piano lesson at Melody Magic Studios . The teachers there are not just educators—they’re musicians in their own right. After lessons ended, I watched one of them unload his trunk. He made at least ten trips, hauling pieces of a drum kit and perhaps other instruments too. I thought, he’s going to assemble all that, practice for an hour or two, then disassemble it and pack it all up again? That’s a lot of work. I found myself wondering: why is music so important in human life?   What is it about music that makes us work so hard for it? It reminded me of my colleague, James Tumulty , from my time at William & Mary. He studied wild South American frogs and the way they “ call ” to communicate. Some calls were for mating, others for territory or dominance. These sounds carried life-or-death meanings—evolutionarily conserved messages that cut through the noise of the world. At this pre-language era the decoding of "calls" and the messages carry life-death importance. Maybe that is why the brain evolved to catch more nuances and do this knowing that the survival and reproduction advantages depend on it. Cropped from James' website, without permission. We will deal with it :) And it’s not just frogs. One of my students, Lizzie Arthur , was a bird enthusiast. When we walked together, she could identify birds by their song alone. “That’s a Blue Jay,”  she’d say with certainty. I was amazed. She introduced me to the Merlin App , which listens to birdsong and tells you which bird it belongs to, complete with facts and photos. My kids loved it—whenever we’re outside now, they ask for my phone to explore the music of birds. In this situation, maybe the diversification of songs helps birds find their tribe, contribute to their social fitness and let them belong to survive. From Merlin app website. This morning I listened to Surah Yasin  from the Quran. For those unfamiliar, the Quran is a dense and layered book. But surprisingly, it’s also profoundly poetic. Its verses often end in rhyme, their rhythms powerful and mesmerizing. The Quran itself throws a challenge: “If you think this is man-made, try to write something like it—just one chapter, even one sentence.” I’ve read stories of early Arabs hearing these verses and falling into prostration—not because they had been convinced by theology, but because they were overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the language . The sound alone was enough. This concept adds to the power of music as a "Godly" process and brings it above the human level. Maybe this is why people see no problem paying thousands of dollars to an "Opera or Musical" because this "above human" activity is worth it. There’s something about music, rhyme, rhythm— sound —that bypasses the intellect and strikes the soul. It’s more than comprehension. For many, practice and fulfillment that gets us through the week. Music isn't just sound. It's connection. It's memory. It's joy. And sometimes, it’s just what we need. What does “music to your ears” mean for you? Do you always have your earbuds in? Do you hum to yourself while cooking or walking?Or do you prefer silence—nature’s subtle soundtrack? Let me know below :)

Pizza is everywhere in the U.S.—and not just on dinner tables. It’s in school cafeterias, office parties, airport terminals, and birthday celebrations. It's by far one of the most consumed foods in the country. But here's something that caught my attention: the amount of pizza wasted in the U.S. daily  could feed millions of people. That’s billions of dollars tossed away—on a food we love enough to order but not always enough to finish. That got me thinking: what exactly are we eating, and more importantly, what part of the pizza should we be eating ? My Pizza Dilemma Whenever we order pizza, and I eat more than a slice or two, I end up with a dull headache that starts in my neck. Not exactly the "comfort food" vibe I was going for. Oddly enough, when we ordered a thin crust, no sauce  veggie pizza, I felt better afterward. No headache. No neck ache. It made me wonder—what is it about regular pizza that messes with my body? Sauce or Science? Let’s talk sauce. Realistically, nobody’s grating fresh tomatoes for every order when pizzas are expected to be ready in 15 minutes. We’re most likely getting a canned or premade sauce—made from tomatoes harvested who knows how long ago, processed, stored, and heated through multiple temperature cycles. In that salty red liquid, various chemical reactions may have happened… or failed to complete. By the time it lands on your pizza, what’s really in there? That uncertainty gives me pause. The Crusty Truth Next up: the crust. The browning of dough during baking leads to the formation of advanced glycation end-products  (AGEs). These compounds are linked to inflammation and oxidative stress in the body. The thicker the crust—and the more browned—the higher the potential AGE load. If you're sensitive like me, that might be part of the problem. Cheese: Not Exactly the Hero “Okay, what about cheese pizza?” you might ask. Well, cheese isn’t off the hook either. It’s high in fat, but not necessarily a great source of quality protein. Plus, think about how long that giant mozzarella log sat around before it hit your pizza. Preservatives? Stabilizers? More mystery ingredients? Probably. That Leaves… Veggies? At this point, the safest part of a pizza seems to be the veggies—if we’re lucky enough that they weren’t cooked into mush or drowned in oil. So the next time you grab a slice, it might be worth asking: what am I really  eating? Food for Thought Pizza is quick, available, affordable, and let’s be honest—loved by whining children and stressed-out adults alike. But beyond convenience, what is it actually bringing to the table? What’s your experience with pizza? Ever get strange symptoms from it, or are you one of the lucky ones who can eat it by the box? Let me know in the comments!

It is pouring today in RVA. My son was asking "Mommy, why does it rain?" I told him the clouds have so much to carry and they have to let go otherwise it will be too heavy :).  It reminds me of how we sometimes need time to collect our thoughts, emotions, or energy—until we’re ready to pour. Today, I have a pair of tracksuits to return to Amazon. Oddly, I find this small act joyful . Returning something I won’t use feels like a blessing—a quiet relief, an “ anti-shopping ” kind of joy. Shopping itself brings excitement, but the ability to change your mind, to undo, to step back—that's a different kind of happiness. It made me think: maybe joy doesn’t only come from forward motion. Maybe it can also arise from rewinding, recharging, retreating . Like a spring—you pull back, store energy, and then release. The step back is what makes the leap forward possible. Recently, I paused my own reading to teach my son how to read. He’s only four. Each day, we open a book together like it’s a little door to a new world. His face lights up with every new sound, every new word, every new story. This, too, is a kind of stepping back—less time for my own learning, more time for planting seeds in him. My husband asked, “What’s your purpose? Do you want to break a record for youngest reader?”I smiled. “I just want to fill my life with meaningful goals,” I said. “And if we happen to break a record along the way, would that really be a problem?” :) I see so much of myself in him—we both love structured learning . We’re on lesson 27 of a 100-lesson book . The path is clear, the method is simple, the joy is real. There’s something so satisfying about making progress in a system that works. When I was teaching at William & Mary, I created a “Roadmap to Success” on Google Sheets. It let students track their checklists and quiz grades, helping them find gaps and fill them in. I loved that system. And now, in my biostatistics course, I do the same—learn, quiz, repeat. This kind of learning is like the spring again: absorb knowledge, then press down and watch it release. And the azaleas—how they wait all winter, quietly preparing, only to burst open in April.  Isn’t that a kind of step back, too? Reminds me of my poem that I wrote three years ago: People, too, can only endure until April—like the azaleas. It cracks its heart open, spills what it holds inside. Don’t be afraid— It’s only here to make your world a bit prettier. The rest of the poem carries a message about being courageous enough to speak up—about painting the world in your own colors, just like the azaleas. To experience the burst, feel free to step back. Recharge. Take your time to bloom. Do you have moments like this—where a pause becomes progress, where pulling away gives you strength to return with more clarity or joy? I’d love to hear your stories below. 🌸 Here is a song to listen along :)

Clinical trials are often called the gold standard in medical research — and for good reason. They’re designed to test whether a treatment works, to measure harm and benefit, and to guide clinical decision-making with data, not gut feelings. But even gold can tarnish. Even well-designed clinical trials can produce misleading results — and sometimes, it’s not because of bad intentions or poor science. Sometimes, it's because real life is messier than our study designs. Today I want to explore a hidden side of clinical trials: the biases, blind spots, and subtle factors that can distort what we see. These are the things that trial designers work hard to avoid — and the things that can still sneak in. 🎯 What Can Skew Trial Results (Even When We Randomize)? Concept How It Distorts Example Selection Bias The people who get enrolled aren’t representative of those who’ll eventually use the treatment. If a trial excludes older adults, the results may not apply to real patients in geriatric care. Confounding A hidden variable influences both the treatment and the outcome. Coffee drinkers might show higher cancer rates not because of coffee — but because they’re more likely to smoke. Effect Modification A treatment works differently in different subgroups — and lumping them together hides this. A blood pressure drug may be highly effective in one racial group and less so in another. Loss to Follow-up When people drop out unequally between groups, the results can be biased. If more people stop the drug because of side effects, and we only analyze those who stayed, we may underestimate harm. Measurement/Observer Bias Knowing who is in which group changes how outcomes are measured or reported. A clinician might (subconsciously) rate a patient as “improved” just because they know the patient got the real drug. Randomization Imbalance In small trials, randomization doesn’t always equal balance. One group might end up with more severe disease at baseline, skewing results despite random assignment. Cultural or Socioeconomic Bias Who can participate affects who the results apply to. Language barriers, transportation issues, or work schedules can exclude underrepresented populations. Underpowered Studies Too few participants means we might miss real effects (false negatives). A small trial says “no difference,” but it simply didn’t have enough data to know. Publication Bias Trials with “positive” results are more likely to be published. Many failed or null-result studies may be left in drawers, giving a distorted view of success. 🧩 How Researchers Try to Fix It The good news? Clinical trial designers are acutely aware of these problems — and they’ve developed tools to minimize them: Randomization and stratification to ensure fair comparison Blinding to remove observer expectations Intention-to-treat analysis to preserve group integrity Oversampling underrepresented groups to improve equity Global FDR correction, pre-registration, and open reporting to reduce cherry-picking Real-world data to supplement controlled trials These are not perfect solutions — but they’re proof that modern science is not about pretending bias doesn’t exist. It’s about designing smart enough to account for what we cannot control. 🧠 Final Thought Clinical trials are our best tool for answering the question: “Does this work?” But we also need to ask: “For whom? Under what conditions? And what might we be missing?” In evidence-based medicine, the evidence is only as strong as the lens we view it through. By sharpening that lens — and being honest about its distortions — we move closer to equity, clarity, and truth.

Have you ever wondered how survival probabilities are calculated? Well, even if you haven’t, here are my study notes to spark your curiosity. 🙂 In survival studies, we track patients over time to observe if and when certain “events” occur—like death, relapse, or recovery. This type of analysis helps us estimate the probability that a patient with a specific diagnosis will survive beyond a given number of years. Let's explore some key definitions to understand how this works: ✅ What is Time-to-Event (Survival) Data? Data where the outcome is the time until an event  occurs (e.g., death, relapse, failure). Special because: It is right-skewed  (not normally distributed) It may involve censoring  (we don't know the exact time of event for some subjects) Here is a very helpful video! ✅ Why Can't We Use Linear Regression? Linear regression assumes: Normally distributed residuals No censored data (everyone has a complete outcome) But in survival data: Distribution is right-skewed Censoring is common  (e.g., patient drops out or event hasn't happened yet) ✅ What is Right Censoring? Occurs when we stop observing  a subject before the event happens . Common reasons: The study ends Patient is lost to follow-up Patient is still event-free at end of study Example: A patient is still alive at study end → we don't know when they will die → their survival time is right-censored . Still here? Brave. Now let’s survive these equations together. Okay, that escalated quickly! But don’t worry—these formulas are just fancy ways of describing how survival works over time The derivation part was a little over my calculus level. But I hope these are still helpful to understand the formulas and their meaning. 🤗

Did you listen to Cranberries when you were a kid? Back then I did not even appreciate ‘cranberry’ was a fruit. But I loved the music, the changing levels of tension and the unique pitch of her voice.  Dreaming my dreams with you.. I will be dreaming my dreams with you.. And there is no other place,  That I lay down my face, happy. Dreaming my dreams with you.. At some point, I did sing part of this to my students, when some of them looked sleepy. Somehow, this week my brain got a collection of ideas that centered around "dreams". (around the mean= mu, with variance = sd, no! Don’t do this to yourself. 😂) I saw a post about forcing yourself to plan for your future by “dreaming yourself in 5 years from now". The task is to “write down what you are doing for the entire day, say on Jan 22 2030”. The goal is to DREAM BIG.  As another side note, when I was at William and Mary, I gave a talk in the Biology department seminar series, back in November 2022. To keep students engaged and entertained, I added a clipart/cartoon holding up a letter on the side of data slides. The students were to collect all the letters= listen to the whole talk carefully. Then, unscramble the letters to find the secret words. Guess what, the secret words were DREAM BIG.  I tried to complete the above dreaming assignment. My knee jerk reaction was: I do not even have the right to dream this or it will be wasted time to dream. Though, honestly sometimes, I dream of owning a stationary/gift shop business. Sitting on the counter either reading books or learning more of my coding things. You may not think this is a BIG dream :) compared to getting a Nobel prize etc. But it is a very pretty dream for sure 😍 The next part of the assignment is to 'come back to the dream every 6 months' (by putting a repeating task on google calendar) and reviewing tasks to accomplish the dream. The claim is that by forcing the dream into our goals, we will change what we do that half of the year to get oriented towards the realization. Last Monday was Martin Luther King day. I saw another post with a quote from him: “ If you can’t fly, run; if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl; but by all means keep moving .” This is a fitting motivation for realization of such dreams. Any movement, any progress counts. Just try to keep moving.  On the other hand, talking about real dreams —like the ones we cannot control, right?— I dreamed the other day, going back 10 years in time. The idea was that me and my husband signed up for this time travel arrangement. But it is a thoughtful system, as we go back in time, we are replaced by “dummy parents” to keep kids company, — not impacted by the change. In my dream the transition was a warm tingling sensation when we did the switching. Interesting. Another song, I sang part of it, on that November 2022 day, was Gangsta’s Paradise.  Keep spending most their lives Living in the Gangsta’s Paradise.  This song brings the perspective upside down. You know, the life that you want to get out of, trying to make BIG DREAMS to get out of, and make 6 month plans etc. Bro, that is already the paradise for some. Pour in the seeds of gratefulness, let them flourish.  Finished reading “The Last of the Moon Girls” and loved it. I noticed towards the end that I slowed down my reading and did not want the book to end. What kind of torture is to experience such a living, breathing story, only to watch it end. I started reading “Keeper of Happy Endings” also from the same author, only to notice a somewhat similar story backbone. One book focuses on scents (diversity of them and messages), other focuses on fabric and textile types. Focusing on things we can sense the curious varieties of .  Dreams, on the other hand, are not sensed.  Dreams are “experienced” and pretty much for free.  So, why not splurge yourself with more dreams now?  You never know, maybe your brain neural networks get rewired as you dream, or contemplate to actually perform tasks to get there. What is one big dream of yours? Would you like to give it a name? 🥰

Do you like jumping jacks? Me neither, it makes me pee. I like squats and dumb bells. Similarly, I like grocery shopping— to carry several bags at once to count as arm work out. Oh, and also getting the trash out from kitchen to the garage. I wonder what makes me enjoy it. Two birds in one stone maybe? I used to go to Burn Boot Camp for group work outs. The style and welcoming environment were perfect. If only I could have managed to keep going with my little kids, who did not want to stay at home or sit in the child watch. I canceled my membership only to notice I still needed to pay for 1/2 of the remaining months. Read the agreements you sign, my friend. Do you read Ken Cheng’s jokes on linked in? Aren’t they just hilarious? 🤭 In one post, he mentioned that he found a shrinking ray to shrink his —nonexisting— kids. And his life turned out to be wonderful for 72 hours 😂 My husband said sending kids to school is like a shrinking ray. I was giving “wise” old women advice to my lab tech; that 30-40 years are just spent raising kids. I wonder when I will have more freedom to go to a gym or enjoy time out with a friend in a coffee shop.  Did you read about the new concept of “stay at home girlfriend” for the new generation? Apparently these women are choosing to be not married and not working but doing chores with dyson vacuums to post videos on tiktok to be influencers. This could be a personal preference. But where is the legal—binding—responsible aspect of this relationship, when something goes wrong? It sounds like the definition of vulnerability to me. Why do we not advocate for stronger and independent girls?? What is it that I am looking for scroll after scroll in linked in, like seeking deep? There must be some knowledge that will change my life. There must be some key crucial information that I cannot afford to miss. What is it that I need to discover? It surely is not on linked in. It may not even exist. My qualifying project for my PhD education was on neural crest cell migration. My proposed model was using Xenopus laevis . There is a remarkable turning point during embryogenesis that triggers the migration of neural crest cells, which later on shape the spine of the animal. There are way too many miraculous events happening in embryogenesis. Why did I get stuck on neural crest cells migration? It appeared to be a determined move. Maybe a predetermined path to walk.  What changes, when we are—no longer an embryo—but rather a bigger clump of daughter cells? Maybe we are still walking the pre determined path. Would neural crest cells worry about the decisions they are making or the direction they are headed?  We are hearing stories from friends who received an email from current administration calling them to voluntarily resign with a 8 month payment into the future. I also hear that this trend is spreading, where the promise of 8 month salary may not be kept. At least for now, we have good news that the funded grants will not be impacted. I may have enough time to finish my Masters. I feel proud to know the difference between "relative risk" and "odds ratio" now, and--no they are not the same. My goals for next week is to do a burn experiment, clipping, making MetaboanalystR work and my course work. Oh we will also have 30 high school students getting a tour of the labs. I notice these are all sounding very different from each other. Maybe Dr Owens was right, that I am a “kid in a candy store”.  This week, I found myself wanting to snuggle back into my books at the end of the day. Get back into my book and live there for a while. I finished last night the "Keeper of Happy Endings". Now I need a new place to migrate—mentally—and exist in that new dimension. How do I know if the day I lived was "productive enough"? Was it earned or wasted ? How do I know if my scribblings are worth calling a 'blog post'? If you found yourself contemplating and enjoyed being deep in the sea of , I would call that an earned blog post for the day 👌

You may recall my recent post where I talked about “What a Cell Does in a Day?”  🕰️Today, let’s talk about cancer cells. At their core, cancer cells are just like any other cells—except they don’t stop dividing . 🛑➡️📈A normal cell has regulated activities  and responds to its environment appropriately. But cancer cells adapt  in ways that give them an unfair advantage  to grow uncontrollably. 🔍 What Does Cancer Look Like? When we performed necropsies on tumors , I had the same question. 🤔 The subcutaneous tumor model  we used formed a chunky, ball-like tumor  under the skin. With careful detachment, we could remove it like a solid mass. Other tumor models  involved injecting cancer cells into the prostate . This technique, called survival surgery , allows us to study tumor growth in a specific organ . Ideally, the tumor should stay there—but if left long enough, it can spread to other sites . This process is called metastasis . 🔄 How Does Cancer Spread? Cancer cells migrate  in three main ways:🩸 Through the bloodstream 🧵 Through the lymphatic system 🏃 By physically moving to nearby tissue The farther a cancer cell travels, the worse the prognosis —because it becomes harder to treat . To migrate, cancer cells undergo Epithelial-to-Mesenchymal Transition (EMT) —a process where cells change their phenotype  to become more mobile. Understanding EMT is a key focus in cancer research  because stopping it could prevent metastasis. 🧬 What Makes Cancer Cells So Aggressive? Cancer cells have some unique tricks  up their sleeve: 🔹 Uncontrolled cell division —they ignore signals to stop growing. 🔹 Adaptation to low oxygen (hypoxia) —they alter their metabolism to survive. 🔹 hTERT activation —they extend their telomeres , making them immortal . 🔹 Hijacking other cells —they manipulate normal cells to support their growth. 💊 Why Is It So Hard to Treat Cancer? 1️⃣ Cancer drugs can harm normal cells , making treatment challenging. 2️⃣ Even if most cancer cells are destroyed, a few survivors can regrow the tumor. 🤔 Is Cancer an Evolutionary Mistake? Why would cells evolve to divide uncontrollably? One theory is that cancer cells try to escape mortality  by continuously dividing. But instead of evolving, they cause disease. And why do some cancer-causing genes get passed down ? Likely because cancer develops later in life , after genes have already been inherited by the next generation. 🌍 Is It Just Genes? No! Environmental and lifestyle factors  also contribute to cancer risk. 🏡🚬🥦 We’ll dive deeper into these next— stay tuned!

Today was a rainy day. As I drove to work, I found myself singing: This morning There is rain in RVA My eyes fill with tears, for no reason Innocent as if listening to mommy I cried this morning Another masterpiece from MFO . (Link in comment) Sometimes, when I explain things to my son, he simply responds with an "Ohh, okay." I suppose that is the innocence level. It made me think about rain—like clouds shedding tears. Does it hurt them? Or does it cleanse the air and the land? It certainly brings life and blooms flowers. I began contemplating how little control we have over many of our daily actions. Driving, for example, feels mostly automated—unless I need to change lanes or react to danger, I just go. Walking is similar; I notice blackbirds by the train tracks, a squirrel wedged in the trash can door, the scent of leaky downtown pipes, the hum of passing cars. Yet, my body moves without much instruction from me. At work, we performed necropsies yesterday and today. Even that felt somewhat automated, aside from ensuring I picked the correct tubes. Many things benefit from this kind of autopilot mode. A car, for instance, runs more efficiently when in gear. Our brains also prefer tasks that require minimal conscious effort—reflexive actions, habitual behaviors. If money in a bank account could multiply itself without intervention, that too would be an ideal autopilot scenario. Even at a cellular level, we operate on autopilot. Around 80% of our genes remain in a closed state, with only a fraction actively transcribing. Cells experience bursts of transcription during development or in response to disease, but for the most part, they function automatically. Then there is the level of numbing the brain. Some people seek unconsciousness, an escape from worries, attempting to erase certain experiences. Unfortunately, many such "solutions" lead to addiction. But is there any benefit to this stage? We willingly go numb when we sleep. In my family, bedtime is a priority. We rush to ensure the kids brush their teeth and join the world of sleep—a realm of unconsciousness that we embrace for its cleansing, reorganization of thoughts, and reinforcement of memories and learning. We can clearly see the benefit in this instance. How in control of your actions do you feel? What are some things you do on autopilot?

What Does It Mean to Change? I was born naked, like all of you. I went to school as normal. 🙂 When I started college, I began wearing a hijab—not because of family or societal pressure, but because it felt comforting. My friends wore it, and it gave me a sense of belonging. Fast forward, I moved to the United States, completed a PhD and postdocs, all while wearing my hijab. Then I started teaching at William & Mary, and something shifted. I wanted to be more approachable, for my students to feel comfortable reaching out to me. Maybe part of me felt like belonging required adapting—blending in, being more like them. Fast forward again, it’s 2025, and I find myself returning to my hijab version. Dizzying journey, I know. 😅 I am digging into my soul to find the real reason. One night in Ramadan, after sahoor, I was on my phone- on Amazon app, looking for easy hijabs. There was this feeling that sunk in, which was more of an invitation, that I was scared to ignore. I thought at a rational level that I spend most of my days in the lab with experimental models, I no longer need to present two personalities. I felt the urge to look like the "stereotype" that I should be representing. Reassuring me that I was "more unfit" with the other way around, the outcome was pleasantly received on many people that I interact with often. Why Do We Write? “What is your goal in writing?” my husband keeps asking. I asked him the same question: What is your goal in writing papers and publications? Maybe we all have a deep need to reach out and share. To process thoughts, to empty them from our minds onto paper or screens. Most people won’t care, and that’s okay. But writing can be a bridge— ✅ To connect with others who feel the same. ✅ To find understanding, even if just curiosity. ✅ To create continuity in our own story. The Hijab and Identity I feel like I am still the same person—the same brain, the same jokes, the same way of seeing the world. But in Muslim communities, hijab is a big deal. Some men even speak of it in extreme terms, linking it to virginity, purity, or exclusivity to one’s husband. These views never resonated with me. But they exist. And navigating that external weight of meaning has always been part of the journey. Is the World Real or Just Imagination? My best friend, Gizem, used to say: "What if all people and the entire environment around you are just imagination? What if it’s only you, and everything else is created in your mind?" It’s possible. If so, I wouldn’t need to worry about what people think or say. 🙂 But in a world where we still believe in our shared realities, I know I will have to explain my changes. I hope that through this, I can find understanding, connection, and smooth transitions in my own story. For continuity’s sake, I also imagined how we will all rise "naked" in the Hereafter. There, we will finally see how much any of this truly mattered. What About You? Have you ever experienced a big change in your life? How did people around you react? Did you find supporters, or was it a lonely road? Let’s talk. 💬