The Hawk, Missed Chances, and Finding Balance

Yesterday, I tossed two pieces of chicken bones with some meat on them into the backyard. Today, I saw a big hawk circling above. It landed cautiously, eyes scanning, body tense. It didn’t pounce immediately—it hesitated, as if suspecting a trap.

I watched, curious. Why weren’t other animals interested? And how did the hawk even find the food from so far up?

Unlike the hawk, I don’t need to hunt for food. Opportunities are sometimes placed right in front of me. But do I always take them?

Today, I realized I missed two deadlines for my coursework. My professor granted me an extension, but I felt a sting of disappointment. I had failed my own expectations. One of my core strengths is responsibility—had I just let it slip?

Guilt, Pleasure, and Balance

Later, a friend told me she had just watched nine episodes of a Korean drama. I laughed, but I knew that feeling all too well. The pull of a story, the need to see it through—especially when conflict is unresolved. I get hooked, too. Maybe because my third strength is harmony. I crave resolution.

And then comes the guilt.

Guilty pleasure. But why guilt? Does all pleasure need to be guilt-free? Is it worth the guilt to indulge? It feels like a seesaw—if one side is up, the other is down. Too much indulgence and responsibilities suffer. Too much rigidity, and life becomes dull.

Islam teaches about Siratal Mustaqim, the straight path—the path of balance. Winners are those who avoid extremes, staying in the middle. But how do I make sure I’m walking in the middle?

The Many Faces of Depression

Depression doesn’t always wear the same face. Sometimes it’s obvious—sunk in, withdrawn, avoiding the world. Other times, it wears a smile, enjoys life on the surface, but quietly ignores responsibilities. Time passes in distractions, in mindless scrolling, in waiting.

The Siratal Mustaqim of depression is recognizing that sadness is okay. Disappointment is okay. Crying is okay. But we can’t stay down forever. We won’t always have someone else to pull us up. So we need to build the strength to stand up.

And when we do, we need to show mercy to ourselves. “Poor me, you have been sad. It’s okay. Things will be okay.”

Small Steps Toward Healing

What helps shake off the weight of sadness?

 • A small goal—saying one little prayer 100 times.

 • Setting an alarm clock.

 • Writing down feelings in a notepad.

 • Calling a friend.

 • Even chatting with ChatGPT.

Sometimes, emotions need space. In Sufism, emotions are treated as guests. We welcome them, acknowledge them, but know they won’t stay forever. Imagine them like a flying carpet—hovering beside us, eventually fading into the background.

But some emotions overstay their welcome. If we can’t process them alone, seeking another perspective helps. Not just any perspective—one that helps us realign with truth.

Perspective and Humility

One way to realign is to zoom out. I used to be a single cell—a fertilized zygote. Before that? Just atoms and molecules. All of me came from the soil, and one day, I will return to the soil.

Thinking like soil brings humility. It reminds me that I am small. That my struggles are temporary. That even if I fail, even if I miss deadlines, even if I get lost for a while—life keeps moving. And I can, too.

I didn’t plan to write about depression, but my words led me here. And maybe that’s something to respect.

What About You?

How do you deal with sadness? Are some methods better than others?