Confidence and Women

Confidence and Women: A Seedling That Grows

This Women’s Day, I found myself reflecting on confidence—why do women, on average, have lower confidence levels than men?

At a physiological level, one clear reason is vulnerability. Women face higher risks of sexual violence, and they bear the biological responsibility of childbirth. These factors alone could contribute significantly to the confidence gap. In some parts of the world, particularly in the Middle East, the concept of virginity further compounds the issue. A woman who loses her virginity unlawfully is often seen as "damaged" or "less valuable." You could watch a thousand episodes of Turkish dramas dissecting this theme.

The message is clear: women are born into a world where they are often raised with these deep-seated misconceptions. It’s no wonder many struggle with confidence.

But what about at the cellular level? Could there be a biological factor at play?

In one of my lectures, a student once asked, "Isn’t it unfair that women only have one active X chromosome while men have both an X and a Y?" I laughed and said, "Yes, it does sound unfair." But then I thought—perhaps it’s actually a mark of efficiency. Women get the same job done with just 45 active chromosomes.

While ruminating on the unfairness of the inactive X chromosome, I came across something fascinating: about 30% of the genes on the inactive X remain active, and they may help protect women from cognitive decline as they age. Hooray for the hidden advantages!

Confidence, or the perception of it, plays a role in how women are treated, especially in professional settings. One striking example is the story of a Stanford professor who transitioned from female to male. After the transition, the same researcher presented the same work—but this time, a male colleague remarked, "His data is much stronger than his sister’s." He failed to realize that they were the same person.

Growing a Confidence Tree

Recognizing the confidence gap is one thing, but how do we bridge it? I imagined a confidence tree—one that starts as a tiny seedling. Right now, I might be at the seed stage, but I can nurture it with intentional practice.

To help my seedling grow, I need to:

• Learn to coexist with my imperfections

• Accept and encourage myself to be myself

• Stop assuming that everyone else in the world knows more than me

  
  

The Confidence Code suggests that formal education—college, master’s degrees, PhDs (possibly even postdocs)—doesn’t necessarily build confidence. If anything, diving deeper into research makes you more aware of how little you know. Constantly switching fields to find a job only amplifies this feeling. This realization of not knowing enough is one of confidence’s biggest enemies.

Still, under these non-ideal conditions, we can keep watering our confidence seedlings. I will keep showing up. I will keep adding knowledge, mastering skills, and growing new leaves.

With time, this confidence tree will develop its own momentum. The more it grows, the more it feeds itself—like a bestselling author producing one hit after another, or a tenured professor winning awards and grants year after year.

Women and Confidence: Progress and Role Models

It’s astonishing to think that women weren’t even included in clinical trials until 1995. That they weren’t allowed to vote until 1920. Given this history, the fact that we now have female Nobel laureates and world leaders is proof of how far we’ve come.

What does true confidence look like?

I picture Liz Allison, my former department chair. When she led faculty meetings, it felt like a warm breeze—welcoming, open to ideas, and effortlessly in control. Nothing aggressive, nothing forceful. Just a natural and elegant way of leading.

I could choose to appear confident while quietly battling self-doubt inside. I can also work to genuinely build confidence—not by reading minds, not by assuming what others think, but by focusing on my own growth.

Most importantly, I need to embrace and love myself more. In an era of AI and endless streams of knowledge, I shouldn’t beat myself up for forgetting things. I am human, with vulnerabilities. And that’s okay.

Your Turn: What Are Your Confidence Tricks?

Do you have strategies for looking, feeling, and behaving more confidently? What has worked for you?